legend of the crystals

Final Fantasy V: Legend of the Crystals – Hot White Beam

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Content Warning continues for preteen sexualization, nudity and gore.

Back on the moon, we get our first good look at Ra Devil, now a muscled ruin of a being tied up in cybernetic gear. He announces that the gargantuan, apartment-building sized brain at his base is somehow Cid’s brain, which is just… remarkable. Ra Devil rambles about Deathgyunos, a speech that makes no more sense in the sub than the dub, and reveals that he is keeping all three Crystals in light bulb-shaped pods nearby, as well as Linaly. The robots activate the machine, and begin to draw energy from throughout the universe to Ra Devil and his cyborg suit. (more…)

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Final Fantasy V: Legend of the Crystals – The Boob Alarm

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Content Warning continues for preteen sexualization, nudity and gore.

After the initial few minutes, this chapter is almost entirely filler, but don’t worry. That just means we’re going to have the opportunity to descend to even greater lows than we have already seen so far. Bear in mind when I say that that, in our last chapter, a twelve-year-old girl’s ass started to glow like a firefly. This is Final Fantasy canon. (more…)

Final Fantasy V: Legend of the Crystals – You are not prepared

lotc-2016-01-26-22h52m26s215This OVA is about a preteen girl with a Crystal shoved up her ass.

At this point you should already know whether or not you want to read this journal through to the end. There is nothing I can add that will fix, improve on, or even justify the above summary. For all of you who intend to leave: I respect you. Perhaps even more than I respect myself at the moment. For the rest of us: I’ve maaaaade popcorn!

Before we go any further, though, this is the first time on the blog that I think I should put up a Content Warning.  Beyond the preteen girl with a Crystal shoved up her ass, and the camera that continues to linger on her, which definitely counts in its own right, we also have to account for unrelated nudity and gore, namely a lot of blood, child death and (highlight to read) an exposed human brain.  We good?  Great. (more…)