Kingdom Hearts 1 Retrospective Directory

IntroductionRetrospective Raw FeedKingdom Hearts 1 Raw Feed

  1. Opening Cutscenes: Difficulty and drowning.
  2. Character Creation: Richard Garriott flipping you off from space.
  1. Day 1: Rafts do not work that way.
  2. Day 2: Conversations do not work that way!
  3. Night of Fate: Raft safety doesn’t work that way, either! I’m beginning to suspect you’re not a professional.
  1. Intro to Hotel Exposition Dump: Maze to nowhere.
  2. Alleyway to Wrap-Up: And it goes on and on and on and on.
  1. Gummi Mode to Lotus Forest: A story sandwich with mechanical bread.
  2. Investigation to Wrap-Up: When you shove party members from a height, make it look like an accident.
  1. Preliminaries: Sora’s Junior Heroics & Janitorial Services, LLC.
  1. Crash Landing to Treehouse: Gorilla Walk of Shame.
  2. Heartless Attack to Wrap-Up: The enemy is right behind me!
  1. Fetch Quest to 100 Acre Wood: You’ll talk to me again, Sora, I can wait allllll day.
  2. Riku to Phil Cup: For access to the world’s Keyhole, ring three times. For customer service, ring twice.
  1. Arrival to Pot Centipede: Tell you all about it when I’ve got the time.
  2. Cave of Wonders to Wrap-Up: For my next trick, I’ll leave two defenceless bystanders behind in the same game!
  3. The Hunny Tree, and Various FM Exclusive Heartless: The most serious threat to our survival: hide-and-seek monkeys.
  1. Mouth to Bowels: I just got to hyperlink something marked “Mouth to Bowels.” This whole directory has been worth it!
  2. Mouth to Stomach: Wait how did we get to the bowels last time if we only went to the stomach this time?
  1. 100 Acre Wood Trips 3 & 4 to Triton’s Palace: Heeeeere we go.
  2. Ariel’s Grotto to Wrap-Up: At least we can console ourselves knowing this exact series of events can never happen again.
  1. Guillotine Gate to Ghostly Simon Says: What’s this? What’s this? New textures everywhere!
  2. Moonlit Hill to 100 Acre Wood Finale: Ghastly puzzle boxes and hidden kangaroos.
  1. Brig to Captain’s Cabin: That really is a fascinating body of water.
  2. Deck to Hercules Cup: Keep an eye out for sweets, Dawson, the game’s afoot!
  1. Preparation to Entrance: Verbosity is my power but you don’t hear me yammering about it.
  2. Library to Castle Chapel: Elevator Action III: The Risening.
  3. Great Hall to Traverse Town: Just how much can you quote from memory?
  4. Hollow Bastion Revisited and Early Late-Game Challenges: I just want to pinch it!
  1. Late-Game – Hades Cup and Gummi Missions: A bronze! I’m still not over this! A bronze!
  2. Late-Game – Superbosses: Is that your six foot long katana or are you just happy to see me?
  1. Gate to the Dark to Final Rest: Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get the centre of demonic candyland?
  2. Final Boss Battles: He’s even carrying a long shaft! I can’t get away from them!
  3. Ending: You try describing the melding and separating universe in text and see how far you get.
  4. Secret Endings: And then he runs up the wall! And then he does a backflip to the moon!
  1. Appendix and Tie-Ins: Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cell phone game, dishonour on your cow…

Chain of Memories –>

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